I know that my experience growing up with a single mother isn’t typical, but it’s just my way of life.

I grew up as an only child and I realize that those who live in a two-parent household might not understand. 

In 2023, data from the United States Census Bureau indicated that 71% of children in the US lived in a two parent household, according to a Jan. 19, 2024 report by WEA Children’s Network.

Still, having a non-nuclear family is not an invitation for invasive questions.

Throughout my life, I’ve noticed a pattern when I talk about my mom, the first follow-up question is usually, “What about your dad?”

​I understand curiosity, but there’s a difference between genuine interest and entitlement to someone else’s past.

​I feel the people asking expect some drama or a familial secret as to why my father isn’t mentioned. The question assumes an explanation is needed for the absence.

It makes me curious why talking about my love for my mother isn’t a sufficient answer for most people, especially because I have so much to say about her.

Culturally, Americans view families with a married man and women as the most acceptable family structure, according to a Sept. 14, 2023 article by the Pew Research Center.

My mom has shaped the person I am. She’s creative, confident and maintains a positive outlook on life.

​She excels in areas where I struggle, which has brought us closer together as I’ve grown older. Where I tend to be cynical or doubtful, she is always encouraging.

Her belief in me, even when I doubt myself, has always been one of the most consistent forces in my life.

She has always supported me in pursuing higher education, reminding me that no matter what direction I pursue post-grad, my effort matters.

As I finish up my third year of university, I think of how many sacrifices my mother made for me to even get to this point. It reminds me to take advantage of every opportunity not just for me, but for her as well.

At the same time, I have also learned by observing my mom’s struggle being a single parent.

Relying on a single income in one of the most expensive states in the nation is no easy task. 

California has estimated rent prices 53% higher than the national average, according to a Feb. 20, 2026 article by the San Francisco Chronicle.

I grew up watching my mom cut costs and stretch every dollar, without ever worrying about our financial situation.

That often meant getting creative with low-budget meals that were still very nourishing. I had a lot of bean and rice meals for dinner.

Now, as a college student managing my own expenses, I realize how much those lessons prepared me for adulthood. 

I find myself cooking the same meals and appreciate the resourcefulness she taught me.

When I reflect on my childhood, the absence of a father figure isn’t what stands out to me, but having a creative and resourceful mother who shows up every day for me.

Not all families look the same, and they shouldn’t have to. My experience isn’t something that needs an explanation.

If someone is truly curious about my origin story, a better question to ask me is, “Can you tell me about your mother?” because that’s where my real story lies.