Judging people and relationships for using dating apps like Tinder or Hinge is starting to get old. 

People think that if you go online to find the love of your life, you’re desperate or can’t meet people naturally. 

However, this idea doesn’t really match how dating currently works.

About three in 10 adults in the United States have tried online dating, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center study. 

That’s something that shouldn’t be considered weird, because dating apps are just another tool for people to meet. 

Some may think that dating app users lack emotional depth or only care about a person’s looks, but that’s not true for every user. 

Several dating app users are actually looking for serious relationships and not just something casual. 

I haven’t had this experience since I met my partner in high school, but my best friend and classmate met their partners through a dating app and now have been together with them for several years in healthy relationships.

Their relationships are just as normal and loving as what people would consider a “natural” relationship. 

There’s this idea that meeting someone “in real life” is better than meeting someone online. However, I can’t help but ask myself why? 

Meeting someone at a random party doesn’t necessarily make it any deeper than meeting someone from these dating apps.

If anything, dating apps are more intentional because you can see what someone is interested in and choose to talk to them.

People also like to focus on the negative parts, such as people lying or ghosting, which can commonly happen when using dating apps. But these can also happen in regular dating. 

Dating app users, especially women, say that they receive unwanted or rude messages, according to a 2023 Pew Research Center study.

However, nightlife environments show that bars and similar social settings, especially when alcohol is involved, are linked to higher risks of sexual aggression, which can also create unsafe situations for women, according to a 2019 National Library of Medicine study. 

It’s a real issue, online or not, but it’s about how people act and not the apps themselves.

At the same time, dating apps can help people connect in new ways. 

These apps help expand the scope for people to meet. You can find people who aren’t typically around your area and those who have the same background and lifestyles as you. 

Research on Gen Z shows that even with concerns about dating apps, it opens a wide range of opportunities to meet people with different backgrounds and explore relationships beyond their immediate social circles, according to a 2025 Loyola University Chicago research study.  

I think that is one of the reasons why it is common for younger people to join dating apps, is to find their type of person in the dating pool.

Dating apps use algorithms to sort profiles, so instead of seeing random people, users of the app are likely to be shown matches that align with what they’re looking for, making it easier to connect with compatible partners, according to a 2026 Arizona State University article.

Finding your type in real life can be difficult because it’s rare to just randomly run into someone who is both single and exactly who you want them to be. 

Study shows that dating apps are widely used to build relationships, with users seeking serious partners and meaningful connections rather than just casual, according to a 2020 National Institute of Health study. 

Instead of just meeting people you are already familiar with, you’re exposed to a wider range of people. 

Apps can also change how conversations start. It helps people who might struggle to meet others in traditional ways, such as people who have a busy schedule or are from a smaller community.

Instead of waiting for “the right moment” to find “the one,” people can actively connect on their own time. 

These apps are becoming accepted over time, especially among younger generations, which shows people’s negative views are based on old beliefs and not on how dating actually works.

I think that a lot of the judgment comes from how people think that dating should come naturally and not from some online app, because it’s “odd” and people like the idea of meeting someone the traditional way.

But in reality, that’s just not how it always works, and that isn’t the only way. 

Instead of judging people who use dating apps to connect and find love, maybe we should start asking why it even matters how people find love in the first place.